thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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