I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize
