if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
