GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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