U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
