I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
