New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
