I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
