No, you can still breathe under the balls.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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