so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
