just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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