Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I deserve this hangover.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
