The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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