I want to make a zoo with you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
