I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
