I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
