I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
