So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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