Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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