You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it hurts more in the daytime
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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