They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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