Don't you send me to vm
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
