you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
