Do you still have your period?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
