Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
