Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
