You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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