The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
