You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
