some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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