If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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