me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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