do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
