just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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