He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
