is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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