Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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