he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
