Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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