after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
