Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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