we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
