i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
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