i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
