My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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