I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
