So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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