She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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