id be glad to
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
