I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
