i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
we should paint friendship bongs
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